So you just told everyone that you are pregnant or maybe you are coming up on your 20 week anatomy scan. I can almost guarantee you’ve heard the phrase, ” Congratulations! What are you having?” Am I right?
When I first got pregnant we had struggled so long to get pregnant that I decided I didn’t care what the sex was and we opted to wait to find out the gender. I know, I know you think I am crazy but hear me out. There are so many wonderful reasons to wait to find out the gender of the baby until the moment they are born. So here they are.
12 Reasons to NOT Find Out the Gender of Your Baby
Reason #1 No Expectations
There are so many expectations for new parents. Maybe everyone in your family has felt a certain way during their pregnancy or everyone just ‘knows,’ you’re going to have a girl first. Taking the gender of the baby off the table until the day of can be a bit freeing.
There is no expectations for what the baby will be. But more importantly it takes any expectations off of your unborn child (at least of a little while). You can hold off the ‘Johnny is going to be the best quarterback on the team,’ or ‘If it’s a girl you’re going to name her after aunt Bertha, right?’. These comments can be so overwhelming as a new parent.
Reason #2 You Get to Pick Two Names
If you don’t already have names picked out, waiting to find out what you’re having gives you the opportunity to pick a boy and a girl name that you love.
When my husband and I decided to wait on finding out the gender I was excited that we got to sit down and really spend time thinking of a name we wanted for both sexes. It made the the experience sweeter. Dreaming up names for a girl or a boy not knowing which name you will use until the day of.
Reason #3 It Drives People Crazy
Okay, this one of my favorites, it drives people crazy that they can’t know the gender! I know it’s bad but come on! Everyone has so many opinions and you get so much unwanted advice, it really is nice to have this one thing that no one can take from you.
I secretly loved when people asked with their preconceived notions and I could shut them down with “we’re not finding out.” I just enjoyed this one thing about MY pregnancy that no one could make a comment about.
Reason #4 The 20 Week Scan is So Much More Than Gender
So many moms, especially first time moms may not know this. If it wasn’t for my obsessive researching I may not have either. The scan where you normally find out the gender is actual to locate so many other things than sexual organs.
This scan also is for the doctor to make sure your baby has all the chambers of its heart, a kidney, a liver, to measure the spine, etc. SO MANY IMPORTANT THINGS! When you leave gender out of it, it’s amazing how excited you get over a kidney and knowing baby has all the right organs.
Reason #5 People Buy You More Gifts After Baby is Born
This one may seem selfish but I mean it in a sweet way. Since people couldn’t bombard you with gender specific gifts at your shower (at least for us) right after baby was born people went and bought more clothes and small items that were gender specific.
I was a nice little welcome for baby to have a few pieces of gender specific items without having only tutus and bow ties.
Reason #6 The Gift You Do Get at the Shower Are Necessary
To piggy back off reason 5, the gifts you do receive at your shower are useful and necessary. We actual had people approach us because they didn’t know what to buy because they didn’t know they gender… huh? As new parents you need so many things and when people are asked to buy stuff you need and not just the ‘cute,’ stuff you seem to get stuff that is necessary.
Reason #7 Gender Neutral Gear is Great for Baby 2
If you plan to have more than one child having baby gear that is gender neutral is awesome! At least for the first couple of months you have clothes that would work for a girl or a boy. For us that has been great. When our first outgrew things we would pack it up and save it. Of course you could do this knowing the gender as well but if you end up with the opposite gender the second time then you have clothes you won’t use.
Having gear that works for both genders has been amazing and saved us a ton of money!
Reason #8 There is No Chance the Scan Was Wrong
I think we all know someone who knows someone, who had a scan and the gender was WRONG! Can you imagine? You think you’re having _____ and it’s ______! By waiting to find out you don’t risk the scan being wrong because you find out in the moment. I know it doesn’t happen often but it gave me piece of mind knowing they would just tell me when baby was born.
Reason #9 In Labor Not Knowing the Gender is Great Motivation
When you’re in labor and pushing any motivation is welcomed. Not knowing what gender our baby was or what their name would be was AMAZING motivation for me to give it my all. I wanted to give ‘one more push,’ each time because I was so excited to find out what we were having.
Reason #10 It Helps You Stay On Budget
When you are buying things that you need and not things that are just cute you stay on budget. When I went out shopping for baby I knew what we needed for baby. Not that I didn’t buy some cute stuff but staying gender neutral kept my eye on the prize and on budget. I bought what I knew we needed to have and things that would last instead of buying something strictly because it was ‘so cute.’
Reason #11 It’s the Best Surprise
I know there are only two options but mama when you are pushing for hours or after you have major surgery and you find out what your little one is, and what their name is… It is the best surprise EVER. There is no party or gift like not knowing what your baby is one moment and knowing the next. There are few things left in life that we can be surprised by. This one is one I wish everyone could experience.
Reason #12 There is Nothing Else Like It
If none of the reasons above convinced you not to find out the gender, then listen to this one.
There is nothing else in the world like the doctor telling you “it’s a _____,” and not knowing beforehand.
There is absolutely nothing like looking at your partner and knowing which name you are going to use.
There is nothing like spending the hours after the birth talking about how you feel knowing it’s a girl or a boy. If you are looking for one of the rare beauties in life, this is one of them.
There is no right choice. this was ours and we loved every second and are so excited to do it again. If you chose or are choosing to not find out the gender I would love to hear you reasons in the comments.