It can’t be can, this hard to be a mother. At least once a week I ask out loud “does everyone struggle like this?” “Does every stay at home mom or any mom for that matter- ask for help this often…?”
Terrible twos…. terrible? How about ‘what this shit is this, twos!’ First, he’s the sweetest kid around then he’s screaming at me because I did what. He. Asked. Me. To. Do.
But that is only half of my current struggle. The other half is a teething 8 month old who rarely lets me put him down. I’m a freaking champion at doing anything and everything one handed.
But even when I’m not around them. Even when I’m taking time for “self care,” (don’t even get me started with that) I feel like I’m doing this thing wrong. This parenting thing. When my toddler is on the floor of his grandparents house screaming at me or testing every limit, all while I hold his brother who is also never appeased, asking myself, “What the hell am I doing?”
I can’t be the only one who fears failure as a mother. That flash forward 19 years and my kids are disrespectful, distant and resent me for not doing all the things right, highlight reel. Not giving them the tools to handle life.
Believe me, I know that sounds heavy. But I can’t be the only one who thinks this way. And if I am well then…shit.
I know the bad days will come and go. That it won’t be this way forever.. trust me every Instagram Sally reminds me daily how precious it is. And I agree and appreciate the reminder but on days like today- well.. sometimes I just need to be pissed, feel hopeless, know it’s normal, hear that it sucks, that toddlers are rude AF and that IG Sally can just shove it!
Having a bad day? Feel free to air it out below. No judgment here.