The One Ring to Rule Motherhood

Lately, I’ve felt transparent. At this point in my motherhood I feel like Frodo Baggins with ‘The Ring.’ Hopefully, you understand my nerdy reference… if not, ‘The Ring,’ is a magical ring from Lord of The Rings that the main character uses to become invisible to those around him.  Hence, the metaphor that motherhood is ‘The Ring.’  We become invisible when we are in motherhood mode.. So all the time.

Any who, back to it-

Tiny humans are amazing.  I love, LOVE being a mother. That’s all I ever wanted.  I struggled to have children and with that experience, I take so much pride in being a mom.  Having said that…

There is a feeling to it that no one can prepare you for.  There is a lot of talk about staying at home and that isolation and stress. I can only imagine going to work each morning without your babies is a whole other level of stress and isolation and I’m sure there is talk about that as well. But what I am talking about it that complicated emotion of having a role no one else can do.

A mother is born

When a baby is born a mother is also born on that day too (I read that somewhere and really liked it).  That quote is so so true.  But it’s often forgotten.

Motherhood is overwhelming, right?  There are so many emotions. There is so much love and pride for the tiny humans you created but also there is this feeling…. this feeling that you are becoming static..

I’ve learned since becoming a mother that you can have all the help in the world; an amazing husband (which I have), a wonderful support system, grandparents who help out, ect. and STILL feel overwhelmed, stressed, invisible and lonely. Every second of everyday we make decisions for our children- what will they wear, eat, when will they go to bed, what medicine they need, how much screen time, what they are learning, how they are learning, so many more I can’t even type. If our children need anything, the world turns to us.  We carry such a weight on us. 

I’m feeling that weight.  It comes and goes a lot for me, as I’m sure it does for you.  But with tiny humans and few moments to ourselves that weight can crush us sometimes. It’s so easy to get lost in motherhood.

This quote says it all:

UH HUH!  Yeah we were people before we were moms.  But as a mother it’s so easy to kick it into cruise control and do all the things; the fetching snacks, nursing babies, making meals, washing and picking up laundry, vacuuming, make the decisions, make the list and just ‘mom,’ away until some day that “someone you were before…” is lost in it all.

By days end we are too tired to talk or do anything else.  Some weeks we can go days without talking about anything other than Mickey Mouse, snacks, monster trucks, nap times or how the baby is sleeping.  We forget how to be ourselves.  We forget how to talk about adult things, laugh at things that aren’t PG and remember we are moms but we are so much more.

She matters

I’m going to be honest this post started out of pure frustration.  All those feelings I wrote about above were flooding my heart.  I was/am losing myself in the journey of motherhood.  I am well aware that is it happening and I’m reflecting on how to change that.

But having wrote all that it’s lead me to this:

Sunday is Mother’s Day.  A day for us.  Let’s take that day and focus on finding that woman we were before.  Take an hour or even five minutes and think of all those wonderful things that makes you, you.  Things that don’t involve being a mother.  Yes, there are things about you that don’t involve feedings, play-do, laundry and diapers.  That amazing “someone,” is in there, even though we lose her often in this crazy ride we call motherhood.

Let her out.  Let her take the wheel for the day.  She is important. (I’ll try to do this as well).

In the comments do me a favor and tell me something, anything about yourself, something unrelated to motherhood. I can’t wait to read all the wonderful things that make up my amazing followers.

(2) Comments

  1. I’m so glad you wrote this. This speaks to be on a molecular level.

    For me, I love words. Reading them, writing them, hearing them. Stories are my passion. In the early years of my kids, I didn’t have the time or energy to stay up and read. This year, I’m prioritizing my love of stories. Reading and writing them.

    Thank you for sharing this post. It’s perfect.

    1. lenabiggs says:

      Aw thank you!
      And I love that you read. I’m sure it’s a great way to unwind and have something for just you

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