When we decided that we wanted our first two babies close together, I set out to see what others thought about two under two. I frantically googled, pinned and asked around trying to see the pros and cons of two under two. The results? People were split. They either loved it or hated it.
Let me tell you this week has been hard. I have cried so. much. But I’ve also had some of those mom moments- you know the ones where your heart explodes with love over something your kids did. I can see both sides of the argument.
So, if you are reading this post to find out what 2 under 2 is like here it is. Here is what two under two is like for me (and maybe for you too).
Two under Two is-
Messy. Oh, so messy.
It’s two in diapers.
Double the laundry covered in anything and everything.
And confusing clothes while folding laundry because at four months and 22 months they start to all look the same.
It’s two babies who can’t talk yet.
And double the tears (triple if you count yours).
A ton of mom guilt. Learning to balance a newborn and toddler who needs attention too.
Sleepless nights with a newborn learning how to sleep and a toddler learning to stay in his big boy bed.
And a full bed each morning, having a tiny human on each side of you.
Hearing “Hi mama!” from the oldest, as you nurse your second born in the morning light.
It is learning to nurse while doing all the things.
Lots of days it’s wondering if the fog will clear. If you will feel human again.
But then watching your youngest laugh at your oldest
And your oldest helping you do things for the younger you didn’t even know they could do!
It’s new words everyday from the older one and babbles from the little one.
It’s spending most of the day on floor. While protecting the little one from being stepped on and teaching the big one how to be gentle.
And boo boos. So. many boo boos. Bumped heads and hair being pulled.
And teething!!! Oh gosh double the teeth, drool and pain.
It’s your oldest not remembering life before the little one and trying to remember it yourself.
Teaching sharing 24/7. What is yours, his, and ours. It’s “that used to be yours and now it’s his.”
It’s longing for 30 seconds of quiet. 30 seconds of not being touched because you’re constantly needed for feedings, cuddles and hugs- it’s all you all the time.
All while wishing you had one more hour in the day because some how the hours drag but they are both growing up so fast.
It’s wanting for the little one to be able to crawl or walk so life will be easier and then crying because you want them to stay small forever.
It’s laughing so hard that first week at yourself trying to hold two babies at the same time and failing.
It’s feeling like a bad ass that first time you’re alone with both kids and everyone survived the day.
It’s holding back happy tears the first time your first baby holds your second baby.
It’s never having enough hands to get things done but enough hands to hold each baby’s while they cry in the car.
It’s one baby for you, one baby for me. Man to man defense all day, everyday. You change this one, while I feed this one.
Missing the one you aren’t holding at that time.
Being so tired that their names somehow are becoming, “the big one and the small one.”
It’s hearing ” I don’t know how you do it.” and always responding “yeah, me either.” While chugging your millionth cup of coffee.
It’s learning grace as a mother. Asking and accepting help.
It’s smiling when you hear your oldest who can barely talk say the little ones name (well kinda).
It’s holding on through the ebb and flows. The stretch of wonderful days and the weeks of grayness. And knowing that each morning you wake up could start or end the phase you are in.
It’s having two babies in two years and still remembering how to do all the baby things because you just did it the year before.
It’s being so glad you did this because they are already so close.
And that knowing that no matter how damn hard it is right now, seeing these two make a friend for a lifetime, who will be going through all the phases with them is oh so worth it!
If you’re surviving in the two under two club, let me know below what it’s like for you each day.
What to get a mom to be for her?
I don’t know about you but I am really big on handmade gifts or gifts that are helpful. So, when I got invited to my first baby shower since becoming a mom I wanted to make sure my gift would be helpful. I knew that this mom to be had lots of family who had made sure she was covered for baby essentials. So, I wanted to make sure she had a few items that made all the difference to me. Which led to making a mom to be care box.
Making a care box
Once I decided to collect a few items for the mom to be and skip the traditional baby shower gift. I knew I wanted to add items that were useful. So, I added the following “somethings”:
- Useful- an item that I used a lot once I was a new struggling mom.
- For self care- beauty, bath, an item that would make her feel good about herself.
- Sweey/cozy- who doesn’t need to feel cozy after baby is here.
- Helpful- an item that you wish you would’ve known about sooner.
Think of a gift that helped you get through those early days of being a mom.
For my something useful I went with this laundry backpack. I was so sore after I gave birth and with our laundry on a different floor I couldn’t hold a basket against my tummy. I found something similar to this on clearance when I was postpartum and I LOVE IT! It made getting laundry done so much easier.
At my baby shower a close friend made me a little hospital goodie bag of things to pack. It was a super sweet and useful gift and full of things I would’ve never thought of.
Two of those things were dry shampoo and face wipes. So, so simple but made me feel so human after delivery. These were my two self care items for this care box.
Just try and think of the thing that made you feel clean or fresh while at the hospital or when you got back home. What helped you feel “put together?” Include this as your self care item.
Sweet and cozy
This one was easy. What is something that would make your mom-to-be feel cozy or sweet? Maybe she likes a certain kind of chocolate or is she a coffee lover?
For my care box I got her a coffee mug that had a cute Mom saying on it. This is her first baby and I always love getting mugs that make me feel good when I read them. So this seemed fitting.
Who doesn’t want something helpful as a first time mom? Think of an item you discovered or were introduced to when you were a new mom that you wish you knew about sooner.
My something useful was Mother’s Milk Tea.
My friend wants to nurse and doesn’t have any moms around who have nurses so I wanted to include this tea.
This particular tea helped keep my supply up when my son and I were struggling with nursing. Such a simple gift but a game changer I wish I knew about before beginning my nursing journey.
After I collected all my gifts I bought a super cute box that could be used after she opened the present and of course added a small hand written note explaining my gift.
There is something about personalized gift that always made me feel special and hopefully my friend I gifted this to felt that way. Small things can go a long way.
What would you include in your mom to be care box? Let me know in the comments.
If you have ever been pregnant then you know this feeling (and if not you are very lucky).
You just found out you were pregnant or just announced that you were and you except everyone to be so happy with you but…. no. Some people instead meet your excitement with comments like:
“You know you will never sleep again.”
“Kiss your social life good bye.”
“Your life if over.” etc.
I hope you didn’t have to hear negative comments but if you did or you are hearing them I want you to know something….
Motherhood is AMAZING!
It’s unlike anything you have ever done and there is nothing that can prepare you for the love that you will feel for this little tiny human that YOU made.
I have never understood why people feel the need to rain on new parent’s parades. Parenthood has been so much more than I could have ever fathomed. You are constantly learning. Whether you are learning things about yourself, your partner or your child it’s a learning experience. Everyday is something new you have never experienced before!
Of Course It Is Hard
Parenthood, like anything else is life is hard. Of course there are things about it that can suck from time to time. But let’s be honest if you have ever been around a child you knew going into this parent thing, it wasn’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows.
You don’t need to hear how much lack of sleep can suck, you need to hear that baby cuddles at 2 am make up for the lack of sleep. You don’t need to hear “your social life is over.” You need to hear that taking your little to new places is so amazingly fun. There are so many negative things I could sit here and type for you. Details of those days that have been so so hard as a new mom. But has a new mom you need SUPPORT. You need ENCOURAGEMENT. You need to know YOU ARE GOING TO BE AMAZING!
If you are a new mom or mom to be know this, it. is. amazing. This is the best adventure you will ever go on. You will never be the same again. Once you see that little human staring back at you, you will know how amazing it is. Everything you do now you will do with your baby in mind. You will WANT to put them first (most of the time). You will want the best for them and you will be fight tooth and nail to make sure they get it. You might not get 8 hours of sleep, or have freshly washed hair everyday or be able to run out whenever you want but know this, it’s worth everything you are sacrificing.
And if you are already a mom, be kind! Remember your own excitement when you were pregnant for the first time. Tell those new moms you run into about all the joy they will feel, all the love and pure excitement that comes from being a parent.
And if you can’t….. then don’t say anything at all. Don’t steal their joy.
What would you like new moms to know that no one told you about when you were pregnant?