Driving with the radio on and I realize how strange this feels. Driving, in the car… alone, on my way to have food with people who know how to say more than 10 words.
The boys are catching colds and Alex is at home with them. We always go as a unit. The plan was for all of us to go together. I am part of this family unit and if I am being honest I have morphed into part of that unit and not a piece of that unit. You know what I mean? I hide behind the craziness of being a mom. I’m always parent 1 of 2. Listening to the radio in the quiet while I drive I have a moment of panic.
What the hell do I do at a restaurant?! If I’m not cutting food, swapping babies, or bouncing in the corner with a baby in my hip? It’s a weird feeling to feel- not knowing how to act or even knowing who I am outside of my family unit.
How have I forgotten how to carry a conversation with adults? Have I forgotten what I like to talk about, or how to laugh freely without having to pay attention to another human? I take time alone but I can’t recall the last time I was out with other adults without having to parent. That’s insane! But motherhood will do that.
You lose friends.
You run out of adults to talk to because of 1 of a million reasons.
When I get there will it come naturally like riding a bike? Will I feel awkward? Will I accidentally wipe someone’s mouth for them? But seriously…
What so grown ups do at dinner with all that spare time???? I guess we will see. Fingers crossed.
What do you like to do when you eat with other grown humans? What things do you like to talk about or do with both hands free lol? Let me know below.